Bonus Negs List

Matador

• Oh shut it, I eat girls like you for breakfast.

• Don't make me come down there, I’ll pick you up by your puppy scruff little girl.

• It's good you know how to fight ‘cause you're gonna have to fight for me… And it's worth it.

• Come here you little shit (pick her up). I'm going to Vegas next weekend, wanna get hitched?

• You look like the kind of girl I'd want backing me up in a bar fight.

• Ok now, that's all you get.

• I don't know who your last boyfriend was, but he did not spank you enough.

• You need to find a nice man... On the Internet.

• Ok, Miss Wikipedia over here.

• 300,000 sperm... And you're the one that got through.

• OMG, ADD Girl. (Attention Deficit Disorder)

• I hope you weren’t this demanding as a child…

• I thought I loved you... And then you [spoke/whatever she did]

• Part of me wants me to stay here and talk to you guys... And part of me wants to run away as fast as I can.

• You're either the coolest girl I've met all night... Or a total weirdo, I haven't quite figured it out yet.

Mystery

Classic Mystery Neg

Do you know why… You and I… Will NEVER get along? (Pause.) We’re too similar. I won’t take your shit; you won’t take my shit… What FUN’S THAT?! (Stack into Toxic Neg.)

Toxic Neg

I’m too toxic for you. You should quit your job. See?! I give shitty advice and everything. If you and I we’re in a room together for too long, I’d pull my hair out of my head. Hanging out with you, I’d be BALD!

Hand Model Neg

What do you do? She: Oh, I'm a model. What, like a hand model?

Losing Neg

Alright, you’re losing me. (Roll off the set. Best used 20 minutes into set. Wait for woman to re-engage you in conversation.)

Pooping Neg

She’s pooping words. I can smell it. I can smell it.

Style

Spastic Neg

Oh My God, you are like, so spastic!

Noname

On the Fence Neg

You’re on the fence. What?! There’s a fence now? Yep. And YOU… Are on it. Ha. How do you feel now?!

You’re Creepy Neg

Wow, you're a little creepy. You're not going to start following me home are you? Ok good. If you are though, there's a great bush outside my bedroom window. I had an ex who used to hide in it all the time.

You Look Terrible Disqualifier

(Genuinely concerned.) What's the matter? You look horrible tonight! Did you have a hard day today? You look like you need a rest. Perhaps you need to lay off the alcohol, and just sit down and chill out or something. You probably haven't been taking good care of yourself lately.

Mystery’s note: This neg can be a little harsh so calibrate. It is to evoke laughter, not hypochondria. It’s funny.

Model Neg

Do a lot of people ask you if you are a model? She: Yes, all the time. I think they were just being polite.

Don’t Be Greedy Neg She kisses you on the cheek and then goes to kiss the other cheek...

Only one… Don't be greedy. She: Yeah, but I'm French. Are all French girls as greedy as you?

Gum Neg Take gum out and offer it to her. She: (No thanks, I’m drinking beer)

I know... Take the gum.

Drooling Neg When the girl is talking to you...

Oh… You just spit on me. That's okay though, I don't mind women drooling all over me.

Nice Girl Neg

I don't think we should get to know each other. She: Why? I think you are just too much of a NICE GIRL for me.

Heckler Neg

Hey. If I wanted any shit from you I'd squeeze your head. Is she always like this?

Shouting Neg

(Shouting.) Hey, who wants to take her place? (To woman,) I'm afraid you and I are just not going to work out tonight.

Picture Neg She: Can you take a picture?

Ha ha! No. She: (You're an asshole.) …And I'm fun! Go get yourself a lacky

Mystery’s notes: Use this only when the women are attempting to tool you, it's easier to just be polite and take the picture. Calibrate.

Kino Calibrator Negs After a hug ...

• Ok now, that's all you get.
• Ok, time’s up. From here on out it's $9.95 per minute.
• All right, hand's off now. I'm not that easy.
• Let's slow this down.
• I'm trying so hard not to kiss you right now. (This is an Indicator of Interest and a Statement of Intent, not a neg.)
• …And get off me. (A great concise neg.)