18 Degrees of Social Freedom
Continuum of Social Anxiety and Social Freedom in Men, Students, Gurus, and Naturals
Exercise 1 - Eye Contact
Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 2 - Got the time?
Ask a stranger what time it is.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 3 - Directions
Ask a stranger for directions.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 4 - Small Talk
Ask for directions and then make small talk for 30 seconds.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 5 - Store Clerk
Small talk with a store clerk for 2 minutes.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 6 - rapport Seeker
Try to last 3 minutes in a conversation with a rapport seeker (homeless guy, charity collector, comedy flyer guy) without giving in to their demands.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 7 - Small Talk 2
Small talk with a store clerk even after the next customer is getting rung up.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 8 - Tell a Joke
Tell a joke in front of a safe group (someone you know).
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 9 - Dancing 1
Dance a little bit in a public place. Not too much. Just bounce a little or snap your fingers.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 10 - Walk and sing
Walk down the street while singing or rapping. There's already a lot of people who do this, maybe you've seen them.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 11 - Make that guy laugh
Walk up to a stranger and start a conversation. You must make the stranger laugh. You can't leave the conversation until you make him laugh.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 12 - Butting In
Walk up to a group of people you don't know. Listen in on their conversation for a short time. Then as soon as possible butt in and start talking to them as if you've been in the conversation the whole time.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 13 - Dancing 2
Dance full out on the street or in a public place.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 14 - Embarrassing Memory 1
Recall an embarrasing moment in front of a safe group - laugh yourself.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 15 - Embarrassing Memory 2
Recall an embarrassing moment in 1 on 1 conversationn with a stranger.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 16 - Random Joke
Tell a joke in front of a group of strangers in completely random place (the train, a store).
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 17 - Moonwalk
Moonwalk in a circle around a group of strangers.
Rate your comfort Level ___
Exercise 18 - Telling Secrets
Tell a deep dark secret to a stranger.
Rate your comfort Level ___
How to use these exercises:
Go to an area where there will be plenty of people around. Do as many exercises as you can. Rate each one on a scale of 1-10 on how comfortable you felt. A rating of ten is the most comfortable. For any exercises you can't do, write in a zero and go on to the next one. Be sure you rate the complete experience for each exercise. This includes the few moments leading up to the exercises. Give an honest score to each exercise. These scores are just for you, it's not a competition.
One your first attempt, there's no need to push yourself too hard. Your first try is just a test to measure your level of social freeedom.
Take note of what kinds of things run through your brain during the lead up to each exercise. Most students report back that the lead up is the worst part. Doing the exercise itself never results in anything as scary as what your mind invents during the lead up.
It should take you approximately 45-60 minutes to complete these 18 exercises on your first try. Then add up your score. Keep track of all your scores as you repeat the exercises.
Do these exercises twice a week for as long as you continue to see improvement. Start pushing yourself more on the second and third tries. Bring a friend with you and push each other to do more and more.
Always monitor your scores. When your score is no longer going up every week, then you know you've gotten everything you can out of these exercises and it's time to stop using them.
If used consistently, these exercises will reduce your approach anxiety, increase your social freedom, and give you confidence in all social interactions.
Good luck!