Stalker Routine Con.

From there, this usually leads into a stalker role play, and gives great opportunities for callback humor either during a later stage in the sarge, or when doing phone game.

During the role play, I usually like to say, "Stalker is a very hurtful term. I prefer, 'Girlfriend in the shadows.'"

Contingency:

I only want the best and brightest girls to be my stalkers. They are like the secret service of stalking so I have a test that will tell me if they have the mental capacity and proper personality traits to be my new stalker.

Stalker Test 1: Psychological Profile

Let me warn you though, this test will push you to the limits of human psychological endurance. One girl tried completing the test too fast and now she's in intensive care suffering from severe exhaustion. Are you ready? Okay, first question: What's your favorite movie?

Her: "Fight Club."

Second question: Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?

Her: "Neither"

Third question: What is one thing you hope your parents don't know about you? I'll give you five extra cool points if it's really juicy.

Her: "I've had a threesome with two other girls."

Hmmmmmm. Let me just calculate the results. Interesting. It says you are who you say you are... a seemingly awesome person... uh oh... the test also reveled something else... it says your are also... a porn addict.