Primordial Dwarf Gambit

I saw on Australian TV the other day... A primordial dwarf. We’re not talking Charlie and The Chocolate Factory Oompa Loompa here... We're talking about a perfectly miniature person.

Pause a beat.

I so want one!

Wouldn't that be amazing? How do I get one? I could steal one... But then how would I ship it back? Would I have to bubble wrap it?