Needy Guy

This fun routine shows that you have social intuition, you know how most men behave around beautiful women, you understand her reality, and you’re different from most men. Do it right after you get her number. Suddenly start acting like a total loser, like a pathetic guy. The main thing is—she needs to realize you’re joking.

Wow! This is awesome! I’m amazed! What an incredible moment! The number of an actual beautiful girl! Look, I’m a bit busy tomorrow, so I’ll be able to call you between 3 and 8, but I promise, I’ll slowly make about 10 calls around noon.

But the day after tomorrow I’m free and will call you about 50 times until you pick up, or 100 if I have to. Wait… Why wouldn’t you answer? You don’t like me or something? Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it, I swear! I know what it is, you don’t like that I have a dog, right? Done! I’ll put him down as soon as I get home!

This roleplay creates opportunities for call-back humor (when you call a girl, she’ll quickly remember how you met and start joking in the same way as when you met). When you actually call her:

Hey, it’s Name, I just called to let you know I told my parents about you. They were so excited that you’re my girlfriend! They said your girlfriend, I said my fiancée. But anyway, my mom embroidered towels and aprons with our initials and I’m calling because I need to know your middle name. Yesterday, I tried looking in your purse while you were in the bathroom, but your credit cards didn’t have it.

I know we only met yesterday, but I was thinking, why would she give me her number if she doesn’t love me as much as I love her? I mean, girls don’t just give out their numbers if they’re not in love with a guy. Anyway, I can only talk for a minute, because I need to call back the sculptor I hired to carve your nude figure from granite for our fireplace.

Just don’t ramble on endlessly with this routine. The longer you keep talking like that, the longer she’ll subconsciously react to the role instead of reacting to you.