Your Bodyguard

This is a great routine if she acts tough, punches you, shakeshands too hard, or does something to imply that she is strongor aggressive.

Wow you’re tough, I’m hiring you as my new bodyguard.

She responds

The pay is shit, but the benefits are actually... well thereare no benefits, but at least you got the job right? I mean, do you know how many people applied for this position? But you do get to carry a big flashlight and wear a walkie-talkie.

She responds

Your job is pretty simple. Basically, if anyone touches me and they aren’t on the list you throw them out. If I go tothe bar, you lead the way and clear a path.

Later, if anyone touches you or bumps into you, even by accident, threaten to fire her. This routine also makes for great call-back humor.