Run Away

This routine puts you in the prize position, and also makes her smile. As with most routines, you can improvise.

I'm way too terrible for you. I'm toxic. I'll only hurt you. Run away while you still can, little girl. You know what? We need to find you a nice guy. Someone who'll bring you chicken soup when you're sick and hold your purse at the store. How about him?

Point to a plain, average guy—maybe even one a bit below average

He looks great...

Act as if you really want to introduce her to him, or, if you're feeling adventurous and he doesn't seem attractive, you can actually do it.