Roommates

Works well if you’re young yourself and talking to a girl younger than you who still lives with roommates. This opener requires you to talk a lot at first, so make sure your conversation skills are above average.

I was offered this awesome place in [name]. I want to live there, but it means living with 4 girls.

I love the number 4. Four times a day, they complain to me about their boyfriends. I can never get into the shower on time. Whenever I decide to take a shower, it turns out they want to shower too.

You smile meaningfully

Damn, I’ll probably start getting my period soon from living like this. I have to stay away from home for a week every month!

Do you know why all primitive civilizations lived in huts? Because all the women in the tribe synced up, and all you could do was stare at the moon and howl when those days came around.

Feels like when I live with these girls, I’m at risk of getting raped. Did you know that 95% of guys who get raped on a date end up committing suicide within the next 6 months? Girls—they’re such sexual predators.